The day before a Western wedding is the ‘Stag Night’ and the ‘Hen Night’. In northern Thailand it is not really the same. As soon as the groom-to-be can get off work, the full-on party starts. It is more sedate with the bride-to-be who will spend more time with her parents.
The son will often just spend most of his time with his mates, mostly sleeping ‘under the table’, if you know what I mean. The day before the wedding is reserved for spending with parents for both parties.
The day before the eve of the wedding is also a special day as the parents of both parties set up their parties with the help of friends and family. This is an all-day concern and people drink, sing and even dance as they are making the preparations.
On the eve of the wedding, people, especially women, will meet at the dwellings of the bride and groom in order to cook. If the wedding is a big one, this could begin at 4-5 AM, but it normally begins at 8 AM.
Guests are welcome at any time after this, but non-cooks or non-helpers will normally stay away until at least 9 AM. The laggards may not arrive there until midday.
The whole day is a party of cooking, eating, dancing and drinking, normally to the accompaniment of live music or a disk jockey. It is not at all strange to have skimpily-clad dancing girls putting on a show as well.
The music will get loud enough to be heard a block or two away and no-one would dare complain about the noise from such a joyous event. However, not everybody is invited to most weddings as they are usually held in the garden.
Bigger weddings might be held in the Temple. I have never been to a village in Thailand that does not have its own Temple. Some small villages of only 500 residents have two Temples. A Temple used to hold numerous monks, but these days 9-12 is normal.
It is quite cheap to hold a wedding or a wedding party in a Temple, but most families do not because Temples are ‘open ground’ and you may get more ‘guests’ than you catered for. Gate-crashing is not unheard of.
As the evening develops, people will be expected to sing a song and there will be dancing. This will go on until around midnight, which makes it a long day and the wedding day for real begins at around 7 AM the next day.
The parents of the groom are expected to help prepare the food at the bride’s home the next morning. This means meeting all the best friends of the bride’s parents and is a good manner of bonding. it normally results in both families and all their closest friends becoming quite close for many years to come.
Owen Jones, the author of this article, writes on many subjects, but is now involved with Khao Phansa - The Candle Festival. If you would like to know more, please visit our website at Package Holidays to Thailand.